In it for the money…

I’ve been caught up in the Big Wednesday madness that has taken over the country in the past few weeks.

Last week it was up to $26 (ish) million and I could barely think what I’d spend it on, and this week it’s already up to $35M.

I know the odds of winning are astronomical (1 in 16M) but I think just the fantasy that I might win has been worth a ticket price. Which is hard for me to say because I have called it “stupid tax” for years. My sister told me to think of it as a donation to the arts instead. I think I’ll take that further and say it’s an investment in my career because somewhere down the line I’ll be applying for funding for something. Yup, that’s right I’m not wasting my money; not at all…

Lottery madness inevitably leads to conversations about what you’d do if you win. Would you give up work? Who would you tell?

I had this conversation a few weeks ago with a friend (Hey M!) when the jackpot was some piddling number, say $15M or so. It went something like this:

W – I don’t know if I’d keep writing.

M- Of course you would.

W – I don’t know if I’d be as driven; I want to succeed as a writer  so I get money…

M – What money?!

And then we laughed and drank more beer.

But there was a little bit of truth in it. Part of me does hope that one day this writing lark will pay off. And not in an artistically satisfied way. I mean a pay-off-my-student-loan-and-buy-a-house kind of way. So I guess I live in a monetary fantasy world whether or not I buy Lotto…

My Lotto madness has paid off – in the artistically satisfied sense of course. Last week I wrote a screenplay based on my novel. I wanted to set up that one character dreams of owning her own place and taking care of her nearest and dearest. She had a Lotto conversation with the other character (Mae) and said if she won lotto Mae could retire… which meant I could set up how important work is for Mae and the idea that she might need an apprentice.

I wonder if I have to thank the Lotteries Commission for that?

I suppose I should apologise for my slackness in writing posts. I’m hoping that it’s becoming a charming aspect of my personality but I suspect it is not.

I have been busy with screenplays, rewriting a short story for the Katherine Mansfield award and will be launching into a rewrite of Kiwiana Charlatan that I hope to get done in the next couple of weeks.

Then back into the novel for (fingers crossed) my last hurrah.

Funny. Deep down I think of myself as a deeply lazy person (I dream of sleep ins and naps. If I ever become a full time writer I’m doing it Spike Milligan style in jammies and a big bed) but my workload would refute that.

Must dash – deadlines loom.

I’ll be back…sometime.

Dress ups

This morning I wrote the description of my main character January that I have somehow missed in all my other drafts.

Well, to be more accurate I described what she is wearing. But I think clothes do provide a key to a person’s personality. For instance, it is easy to argue that someone dressed head to toe in the latest fashion even if it doesn’t suit them is easily led.

Yesterday I bought a couple of fashion magazines and I used them to put togther January’s look(along with ones that were kicking around home). It starts off very black, scratch that, exclusively black in the beginning and then by the end I was reaching for more colourful/playful clothes. I think this would be an interesting dimension to have in the book but I am deathly afraid of slipping into chick lit (if I haven’t already…)

One unexpected side effect of this morning’s writing is that I had a case of “I have nothing to wear”itis, because nothing was a good as the outfit I had described. I still have the urge to go to the material store and buy some lovely black wool to make a little dress…but I have a novel to write, not a wardrobe to sew.

Still, the clothes would be easier to describe if I could touch them…

Blogger was a rollin’ stone…

Neglectful.

Blog abandoned for weeks…months?

I’m a bad, bad blogger I know. I’ve never really kept diaries (unfortunately. Some record of my actual teen angst would be handy for some projects. I only have a few notebooks with terrible poems or my drama diary for 6th form drama which was heavily self censored and I guess, self centered!) so why should a blog be any different?

But I have been writing again – some rewrites of the novel before we begin editing in earnest (although I guess this is editing).

The climax is in the bag (everything I write/say at the moment seems like innuendo. I apologise!) and today I’m working on the end and thinking about the beginning. I need to describe January and the season.

This morning there was a storm in Wellington. Thunder, lightning and hail. I heard the kids next door maybe an hour later say “It’s snowing!” but by the time I looked out the window it had all melted away. I probably should have gotten up earlier to begin writing, but it was “snowing” and my bed was lovely and warm. Besides I’m still suffering the effects of becoming addicted to playing Pokemon on my new DS Lite.

Ah distractions. There are so many! Work, sewing, knitting, cleaning…(that one doesn’t come up very often I must say!)

I was in the library not so long ago, loitering around the how to write/style guides section. It was very tempting to check out a “How to write a great novel” book when realised that I didn’t need to read about it. I just need to do it.

So this is a round about apology for not posting for ever – it’s just that it has fallen in the distraction category for a while.

Limbo

I’ve just counted the days since I finished the draft of my novel and although it has only been 48 days it feels like 48 years; and then, strangely, hours.

It has been a little strange. The habit of writing every morning seems to have stuck and so when I haven’t I’ve felt a bit angsty. Which spills into every facet of life.

And it is not as though I haven’t done anything – I have been pottering with my drabble, but that really just felt like killing time.

Until a proper project came along…

So I printed out my novel to re-read (too soon?) and I’ll be looking at Kiwiana Charlatan…

…but what I really want to do is to write something fun. Something silly. Something where I don’t have to delve too deeply into my past/emotions.

Not that I’ve reached that level with my drabble. At the moment it is all frustratingly superficial.

The year is slipping away…

So little work, so much time…

Strike that; reverse it (thanks Mr Wonka).

I finished reading the third draft of my novel about an hour ago and I’m quite pleased with it. Not enough to send it to Phil yet, but not vomiting in my mouth. Which is always a happy event!

What surprised me the most was that the ending which I had thought too twee as I wrote it resonated well (although I do need to work on setting up some things earlier for it to come off the way I really want it to.)

So there is much work ahead. Today I’m going to concentrate on the little things (missing letters, sometimes whole words! My tendency to drop into past tense when I’m impaitent to get to the next paragraph.) and then map out the big things.

Like where I have written “passage of time” in the margins. I am tempted to write “cut to” but I know that won’t work and it might be an opportunity to work on some descriptive passages which seem to have been ruthlessly cut out in my quest for a clean story ( meaning clear. There’s still insanity and sex…)

I’ve also noticed that I haven’t physically described my main characters (except to say that Mae is old and that January has green eyes) and although I don’t want to write a passage that is that expositionary – January stood straightening her 160cm frame and brushing her shoulder length black hair from her green eyes… – I think it is important to have a sense of a character; what do you think?

I’m also not sure if this is work to be done now or to wait until someone else has read it. My gut says that I should do it now – but my brain (who still wants to be on holiday) says it can wait, it can wait…

But can I? It is the time of the year when I start blocking time for projects and I was hoping that this year the novel wouldn’t be as greedy as it has been for the past 3. At the moment I’m giving it from now until June ( this of course is flexible for diversions rewrites of short stories and films for various competitions this year, and for other people’s schedules too). I am determined that it will be done this year.

After the novel I’m hoping to rewrite Kiwiana Charlatan and to start a draft of my new project (still not sure if it is a film or a play yet)…

Is it possible to feel this overwhelmed by the year already?

I think I need a cup of tea and a lie down.

November round up – part 2

I had intended to post the day after the last post but as per usual other stuff got in the way. Such as writing a proposal for a Young and Hungry commission. Oh yes, the draft of my novel had barely cooled off before I started sniffing around for another project…but it was the new idea I was romancing earlier in the year so I guess it isn’t all bad.

Back to November.

The writing went well during the second week, targets were met and chapters completed. But my mind was on the weekend when I was going up to Auckland to watch the shoot of my first short film.

When I first got the email about the shoot I ummed and ahhed about going up – it was scheduled for the middle of my marathon and I also felt a little divorced from the whole project. I had written the script in 2005 and I hadn’t heard from the producer, well, all of the year. In the end I decided to go – it was my first short film! And I wanted to see how it was done for my next short.

I stayed with my cousin Peata who had just been profiled for Kete Aronui and Ramon Te Wake who was her director was also directing my script! Small world eh?

The shoot was amazing. First up I felt so welcome on the set – I had worried that I’d be in the way but I was fine. I was so exhausted when I got back to P’s place that I crashed out at 8. I also got to have a look at the editing process on the second day, which is where the story really comes together.

Elizabeth Hawthorne was amazing – we laughed at the footage again and again even though we had seen it at least 20 times.The only thing I was worried about was that the dialogue for the VO didn’t really match her performance. I wished I had time to do a rewrite before they shot…

…Someone read my mind because I got a call asking if I wouldn’t mind rewriting the VO dialogue. So I have a little project to keep me busy over Christmas!

The third week was unsettled – I wanted to write film! Not my novel! I had taken the week off work so I had time up my sleeve to ease back into the writing. I didn’t really get back into it until the end of the week which meant the trip to Matiu Island with my writing group was off for me and although I did feel a bit deprived, I did need that time to break the back of the novel (which I’ve just realised is an appalling saying!)

The last week of November I had three new chapters to write; two I knew absolutely had to be written and one I was a bit iffy about. The iffy chapter added nothing to the story nor drive it. When I had planned to include it I think I wanted to slow the pace down. The previous chapter is about how January is progressing in her studies, this is supposed to take a couple of weeks but because she is doing the same thing day after day I’ve condensed it. I wanted to add a chapter to show the passage of time but I think it would be better if I reworked the chapter I already have, slowing down the pace with the use of language and white space.

That’s how I spent November. I think it was worth pushing through with the draft – I hope it has more coherence than the last draft. I felt physically broken after the month of writing ( I may have developed a writing hump!) I think the novel may have broken my back!

Here’s a music vid from the incomparable Ramon!

November round up

The third draft is almost done, or it might actually be done – I’ve got to the stage where I just can’t tell anymore; the time where you put the draft away for at least a couple of weeks until your eyes clear and you can see it again.

So I’ll have another look during the Xmas break, which is earlier than I would normally revisit something but I just have a feeling that I have a few touch ups to do before I inflict ask anyone else to read it.

Maybe it’s because I feel like I still have things to do that I haven’t felt the relief that I felt with the last two drafts.

The draft started off as I said here with illness, but I still managed to rewrite at a rate of a chapter a day. I started to call it the Rastafarian approach to rewriting. One advantage to the approach is that I could remember what happened in each chapter – which was a contrast to the second draft which I chose to write out of sequence last year ( I had decided to write some of the novel in first person and for consistency I wanted to write those chapters all together.)

That weekend I also overdosed a little one theatre – going to a couple of play readings and the closing night of The Pillowman. One of the plays was written by Kirk Torrance one of the original members of Writers Block, it was great to hear it and see him!

The play Flintlock Musket set in NZ before the musket became widespread, is a story of ambition and colonisation (I’m including iwi on iwi in that definition). Kirk has an amazing way with words – very poetic. It was a nice reminder that you can be theatrical without being over the top (not that being over the top isn’t fun!).

The other play Loser by Thomas Sainsbury, was LOL funny. I will definately see it when (and I do mean when) it gets a full season.

Playmarket drinks followed where I was very brave and introduced myself to new people, which isn’t as freaky as I thought and then I remembered I used to do that all the time. That made me think about why I don’t do that anymore – scared, laziness? This made me think of my character January (my favourite anti socialite) and to question if her social awkwardness is natural or learned. And then I had a little freak out about autobiographical writing, because I really don’t think I’m like January at all…

Then off to Circa to watch The Pillowman, partly because Jamie McCaskill was in it (as Kuturian Katurian which my favourite Doctor David Tennant has also played) and because of its use of fairytale, something I’m exploring in my novel (and other projects that I’m cooking up).

I ended up sitting next to a couple of friends (one came with me and got a standby ticket and the other had booked ahead – but didn’t know we were coming) and a doctor who was in town for the weekend and wanted see a play. It was a pretty full on day, but I’m glad I went out even though I felt sick the next day!

OK peeps, I think I’ll be writing this in installments. There’s rhubarb pie fresh from the oven waiting for me in the kitchen.

I know, I know priorities!!

Next installment: A short trip to Auckland.

How’s the novel going?

’nuff said!

2 chapters to go and then I promise I’ll be back…

(Photo from the shoot of my first short film! I wrote it a couple of years ago – it was great to see it come to life – but more on that later!)

Bleeugh!

Rather than starting with a hiss and a roar my November rewrite has been characterised by a cough and a sniffle.  The dreaded cough that is plaguing Welly-town caught up with me last week and will not go away. It is really annoying because it does this whole “oh no you’re perfectly fine” fakie and then it’s all fevers and lung butter again.

Choice.

But despite my illness I have kept to schedule ( thanks to an unbelievably good day last Wednesday) and the rewrite is going well. I think it is because I spent a lot of time planning before I jumped into it. Yes, I have an outline but it is not set in stone – I seem to be updating the outline as I go; I’ve had to make one of the outline chapters into two and I also need to add a couple of chapters now that I’ve decided that January doesn’t need to actually quit her job, not yet anyway.

I’ve been enjoying the “new” Mae, I think David Tennant’s incarnation of Doctor Who has had a lot of influence on her – that kind of vague bubbliness that hides an intellect of steel. There is at least one line of dialogue where I could hear his intonations. Will she stay that way? Weeell (Eyebrow raise) it’s hard to say…

I’m feeling pretty hopeful that I will be able to pull off this draft this month. I’m taking some time off work (actual leave not sick leave!) next week so that I can get it done. This draft seems more fun than the last – perhaps it is the light at the end of the tunnel which cheers me.

Apologies for the short post – I’m off for a wee nap to kill off those germy jims.

You can’t choke a vampire

I’m worried that this post will lurch dangerously into fanboy territory…forgive me if it does! (And I’ll meet you at the next Armageddon LOL snort wheeze)

Cam and I have been re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yesterday we watched the finale of Season 2 and in one scene Spike (a vampire) overpowered his girlfriend Dru (another vampire) by putting her into a headlock until she was unconscious. As you do to your nearest and dearest (hey Buffy sends her boyfriend Angel to a hell dimension in the same episode so who am I to judge?).

Perhaps I wouldn’t have noticed if we hadn’t watched both seasons over the past couple of weeks…but the scene stood out to me because it broke the rules of its world.

The season 1 finale Buffy is “dead” and needs CPR. Angel cannot perform CPR because he is a vampire and doesn’t have breath.Vampires don’t have breath because they’re dead. Fair enough – so you just can’t choke a vampire. Smack it on the head or something, but choking is kinda useless.

Moral of the story for me is that I need to be careful to observe the rules I create for my on worlds. That I need to be as fanatical about my own work as a fanboy.

Sometimes I’ll leave holes in my work because I don’t know how to fix it, or I hope that no one will see them (particularly if I put an explosion right next to it!) But they always do.

Today I have printed out the rough chapter mash ups of my novel and I’ll spend November fixing those holes (caverns!). I’ll be reading through to see if it makes sense and to see if I’ve lost anything from the cuts I’ve made. This morning I felt kind of anxious that I won’t get much done in November. I know that is a self imposed deadline, but I really want to take it seriously.

Already though, there’s a small part of my brain that’s saying “Well, if you don’t get it finished in November you still have plenty of time.” Which is true, but also a little self defeatist.

I also had a sneaking worry that I didn’t have enough pages – until I printed it out this morning! I haven’t counted them but it looks just over half the size of my last draft. And some of the “chapters” I printed were a couple of lines like “Mae’s manuscript” or “January’s flat”.

Yesterday I finished reading an autobiography of a woman with Asperger’s. I skipped over a lot of detail and then it occurred to me that the form of her work characterises the condition – attention to detail that others don’t see…Or perhaps it is a condition of self publishing!

I’m not sure if January does have Asperger’s – at least not in the same way as this woman. Even if she does I know for sure that there will be no dialogue (inner or real) that satrts with “As a woman with Aspergers..”

Actually as I was watching Bones last night I thought that January is more like Temperance – socially awkward but charming. Maybe I should read the novels and see how Kathy Reichs does it.

OK there’s sunshine to enjoy! Then back to the mines for me…